It Began in Athens around 300 B.C., was quickly adopted in Rome, most likely influenced early Christianity and forms the foundation of modern Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

“The body and its parts are a river, the soul a dream and mist, life is warfare and a journey far from home, lasting reputation is oblivion. Then what can guide us? Our philosophy.”

-Marcus Aurelius

I began studying various philosophies (not counting college) soon after my separation from my wife. I am a Christian. I was not seeking a replacement for my faith. I was looking for more “tools” to add to my toolbox for dealing with the tribulations of life. The more I read, the more I was drawn to Stoicism.

First, a clarification:  Stoicism (capital “S”) and the word stoic (lower case “s”) do not carry the same meaning. Stoicism is a school of philosophy or a way of living. A “Stoic” is someone who follows this school of philosophy. Conversely, the word  “stoic” or “stoical” refers to someone who is unaffected by joy, grief, pleasure or pain. Basically, it is a descriptive word for a person who acts in an unemotional manner.

I created a series of topics or subjects that are addressed by Stoicism and added quotes from Stoics, and others, that relate to these topics. I added my own thoughts on each subject below the quotations. The result is this document. It is a work in progress (as you can clearly see) and I doubt that I will ever “finish” it. But reading through it from time to time helps me tremendously. I hope that it can do the same for you.

Shawn, December 2019

How Shall I Live?

 “Objective judgment, now, at this very moment. Unselfish action, now, at this very moment. Willing acceptance – now, at this very moment – of all external events. That’s all you need.”–Marcus Aurelius

 “When you wake up in the morning, tell yourself: The people I deal with today will be meddling, ungrateful, arrogant, dishonest, jealous, and surly. They are like this because they can’t tell good from evil. But I have seen the beauty of good, and the ugliness of evil, and have recognized that the wrongdoer has a nature related to my own — not of the same blood or birth, but of the same mind, and possessing a share of the divine. And so none of them can hurt me.” –Marcus Aurelius

 “Realize deeply that the present moment is all you will ever have.” –Eckhart Tolle

 “As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn’t leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I’d still be in prison.” Nelson Mandela

“The whole future lies in uncertainty: live immediately.” -Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Accept, with compassion, the now. Nothing is permanent because we experience life from moment to moment. The past does not control you. What others say or do has no control over you. External events do not control your life. Wisdom, Justice, Courage and Moderation are the four cardinal virtues and living in accordance with virtue is all you need to do.  Practice right judgment, right action, and right intentions. Your mind assigns meaning to your experiences. Experiences, or what happens to us, are themselves meaningless. You control your happiness. You control the goodness inside you.

Remember that your mind will inform your moral compass. Be aware of your attitude, thoughts and emotions. Be honest, rational and realistic. Be accepting, understanding and forgiving. Do not lose your mind to the whims of others but accept all external events; your happiness and the inner peace you have cultivated will flourish with or without them.

The Dichotomy of Control – Understand what you can and cannot control

“You have power over your mind — not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.” –Marcus Aurelius

“Of existing things, God has placed some within our power and others not within our power. Within our power he has placed the most important thing, that through which he himself is happy, the power to deal with impressions.”–Epictetus

 “Freedom is the only worthy goal in life. It is won by disregarding things that lie beyond our control.” –Epictetus

 “[T]he price of getting what you want, is getting what once you wanted.” -Neil Gaiman

The Stoics understood very well the central tenents elucidated in the Serenity Prayer thousands of years before it was written:  Control what you can, accept what you can’t. If something is outside your control, be prepared to accept that it is nothing to you. You cannot (completely) control external events. This is not to say that we should never attempt to influence or manage the external; to pursue a noble goal or seek a moral outcome. But do not attach your identity or base your happiness on the end result. Being anxious or fearing the uncontrollable has no bearing on reality. Likewise, do not react thoughtlessly to what is outside of your control. Remember that you have power over your impressions. Living in a state of worry or fear regarding events outside of your control is a self-inflicted wound. Accept all external outcomes and do not worry about them. Move on. Acceptance is not apathy, it is serenity.

If something is inside your control, act with virtue and good intention — wisdom, courage, justice and temperance. You control your motives. You control your intentions. You control your actions. You control your response to events. You control how you respond to the actions of others. Be mindful and particular of your “wants” and intentions. Allow virtue to guide you. Live nobly. Do not be afraid. Deal with what is in front of you, from moment to moment, with reasonableness and moral virtue. Always do the next right thing and be unconcerned and at peace with the ultimate outcome. External events happen according to fate, the will of God, but our perception of events are fully within our control.

Impressions are not reality

“An emerald shines even if its worth is not spoken of.”–Marcus Aurelius

 “If evil be spoken of you and it be true, correct yourself, if it’s a lie, laugh at it.” –Epictetus

“Your perception may not be my reality.” –Aporva Kala

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” -Viktor Frankl 

Our lives are not controlled by the events that happen to us but by how honest we are about our internal narrative of these events. It is our impressions or judgments that determine our response. Our impressions and judgments evoke our emotions. God granted us the ability to feel emotions, but we are not a slave to them because He also granted us the ability to think rationally. Do not repress your emotions, but build awareness of why you feel as you do. Many of our more self-destructive emotions are based on false beliefs, errors in judgment, irrational impressions or unrealistic expectations.

Think about your thinking. Learn to reason well. Our impressions are often based not on what is in front of us but are instead influenced by something within us. Our fears and insecurities are a constant companion. Be perceptive about yourself. Create habits of thought and behavior that are honest, rational and realistic. You have the power to give or withhold your assent to impressions. You have the power to remove any disturbance from your mind. You have the power to be at peace. But these things cannot be given to you. You must get them from within yourself.

Amor Fati — A Love of Fate

“Do not seek for things to happen the way you want them to; rather, wish that what happens happen the way it happens: then you will be happy.”–Epictetus

“That one wants nothing to be different, not forward, not backwards, not in all eternity.” –Friedrich Nietzsche

“When things are going bad . . . Just look at the issue and say: “Good.” . . . Oh, the mission got canceled? Good. We can focus on another one. Didn’t get the new high-speed gear we wanted? Good. We can keep it simple. Didn’t get promoted? Good. More time to get better. Didn’t get funded? Good. We own more of the company. Didn’t get the job you wanted? Good. Go out, gain more experience, and build a better resume. Got injured? Good. Needed a break from training. Got tapped out? Good. It’s better to tap out in training than tap out on the street. Got beat? Good. We learned. Unexpected problems? Good. We have to figure out a solution . . . Finally: if you can say the word “Good,” then guess what? It means you’re still alive. It means you’re still breathing. And if you’re still breathing, that means you’ve still got some fight left in you. So get up, dust off, reload, recalibrate, re-engage – and go out on the attack.”  –Jocko Willink

The ancient Stoics believed that the external world, for all practical purposes, was determined. Again, this is not to say that we cannot or should not try to influence or manage the external. However, all external events and outcomes are beyond our ability to (completely) control. Ultimately, it does not matter how hard you try, what you do, what you say, what you think or what you believe. What happens to you – your fate – will happen the way it happens, where it happens and when it happens. You are not God and you do not possess the power to alter your fate or the fate of others.

If the future is determined, why bother to do anything? Why try to live with morality and virtue? Why try to be forgiving, understanding and unselfish? We try because we do not know why our lives unfold as they do. We try because we have internal free-will and absolute power over how we choose to perceive what happens to us. We try because our response to what happens to us should matter to us. We try because we are alive.

Fate is your teacher and it has led you to this present moment. It can be no other way because you cannot change your past. You have all that you need to face this moment. Be grateful for all that has happened to you and face your circumstances fearlessly and without worry.

Praemeditatio Malorum – The Pre-Meditation of Evils

 “What is quite unlooked for is more crushing in its effect, and unexpectedness adds to the weight of a disaster. This is a reason for ensuring that nothing ever takes us by surprise.”–Lucius Annaeus Seneca

“Nothing ought to be unexpected by us. Let us place before our eyes, in its entirety, the nature of a man’s lot – not the kind of evil that often happens, but the very gravest evil that can possibly happen. We must reflect upon fortune fully and completely.”-Lucius Annaeus Seneca

“We never anticipate evils before they actually arrive.” -Lucius Annaeus Seneca

This is a form of Stoic meditation. Hope for what is just but prepare for what is unjust. Visualize and prepare your mind in advance to cope with all potentialities, including negative outcomes or adversity. In this way, you can be calm in adversity because you’ve already thought about it. Stoic meditation will immunize your mind by contemplating all that could go wrong. Let go of reckless optimism and unrealistic expectations. Remember that if something can happen to others it can also happen to you. You are not immune. Be aware that the “worst” outcome can become a reality and also know that it is survivable. Our awareness of this fact allows us to adjust our expectations to conform to reality. Instead of being battered by external events, the practice of Stoic meditation will prepare you to face all things with acceptance, peace and serenity.

Memento Mori — Remember that you will Die

“You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think.” -Marcus Aurelius

“I have to die. If it is now, well then I die now; if later, then now I will take my lunch, since the hour for lunch has arrived – and dying I will tend to later.” –Epictetus

“Life is a fatal sexually transmitted disease, so you might as well enjoy it.” -Neil Gaiman

Be ever mindful of life’s impermanence. Disregard self-indulgence and do not be arrogant. Know that you will die and that this makes you no different from everyone else. Thousands of generations existed before you and thousands of generations will exist after you. Build resilience by remembering that all are mortal and that all things change. Live with purpose but do not take yourself too seriously; you are, after all, not that important.

The next second of your life is not promised. Remembering that you will die, that your time is limited, is the surest way to eliminate procrastination and worry from your life. Knowing that you will die will sharpen your focus and help you to understand what truly matters to you. Every moment matters. Living this way will prioritize a strong sense of meaning in your daily life. The only constant in our life is the present moment. Choose to live each moment with your inner virtue (Wisdom Justice, Courage and Moderation), moral character and abiding motive to do what is right.

Self-Reliance – Listen to others, but make your own decisions

“And see that you keep a cheerful demeanor and retain your independence of outside help and the peace which others can give. Your duty is to stand straight – not held straight.”– Marcus Aurelius

“Each man’s life is flying away, and thine is almost gone, before thou hast paid just honour to thyself; having hitherto made thy happiness dependent on the minds and opinions of others.”–Marcus Aurelius

“Who are those people by whom you wish to be admired? Are they not these whom you are in the habit of saying that they are mad? What then? Do you wish to be admired by the mad?”–Epictetus

“Hope is the used-car salesman of human existence: so friendly, so plausible. But you cannot rely on him. What is most important in your life is the you that remains when your hope runs out.” –Mark Rowlands, The Philosopher and the Wolf

Stop hoping that someone or something else will save you, complete you or provide the answers for all that troubles you. Do not rely solely on the opinions of others to solve your problems, determine your thoughts, your happiness or make decisions for you. Do not allow yourself to be propped-up or “held straight” by thoughts and opinions that are not your own. We can learn from others. Wisdom comes when we apply our ability to reason to the subject of our learning.

Solitary contemplation prefaces self-reliance and independent thought. The less at peace you are with solitude, the more likely it is that you do not know yourself. Do not fear the solitude within your mind. Do not fear the silence of existence. Do not fear the nothingness of nothing. It is during these times, even the briefest of moments, that we experience the most profound reasoning and revelations about ourselves. Independent thought requires courage. Respect yourself. Listen to others but keep your own counsel. Stand straight under your own power. Abide by your personal values and virtue. Then set your mind to your path.

Response to Pain

“Our actions may be impeded by [obstacles], but there can be no impeding our intentions or our dispositions because we can accommodate and adapt. The mind adapts and converts to its own purposes the obstacle to our acting. The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.”–Marcus Aurelius

“I laugh at those who think they can damage me. They do not know who I am, they do not know what I think, they cannot even touch the things which are really mine and with which I live.”–Epictetus

 “When people injure you, ask yourself what good or harm they thought would come to you. If you understand that, you’ll feel sympathy rather than outrage or anger. Your sense of good and evil may be the same as theirs, or near it, in which case you have to excuse them. Or your sense of good and evil may differ from theirs. In which case they’re misguided and deserve your compassion. Is that so hard? -Marcus Aurelius

You will suffer cruelty at the hands of others. You will be ridiculed. You will experience misfortune. You will make plenty of your own mistakes. The world will not subjugate to your expectations, plans, hopes or dreams.

Conscious self-reflection requires deep honesty and the willingness to accept that our impressions are often based on inadequate information or are simply wrong. That’s why we spend the majority of our lives on auto-pilot; it’s just easier. Unthinking and thoughtless action are a self-created mechanism to avoid pain by seeking immediate, short-term pleasure. It is a poor way to live. It will leave you hollow, unfulfilled and one day you will wonder why you feel this way. So, face your pain. Right now. Know that confronting and navigating through pain will make you better than you have ever been.

 Impediments and obstacles strewn across our path are unavoidable and inevitable. Accept these conditions as they are. Do not simply endure them. Do not give in to pain. Instead, accept the obstacle in your path as though it were placed there by fate or Providence. Use your mind to transform the impediment into an advantage. What you initially thought was an obstacle in your path becomes your path.

De Brevitate Vitae – On the Shortness of Life

“Life is long enough, and it has been given in sufficiently generous measure to allow the accomplishment of the very greatest things if the whole of it is well invested. But when it is squandered in luxury and carelessness . . . we perceive that it has passed away before we were aware that it was passing.”-Lucius Annaeus Seneca

“Life is very short and anxious for those who forget the past, neglect the present, and fear for the future.”-Lucius Annaeus Seneca 

“Force yourself to set priorities. Do first things first – and second things not at all.” -Peter Drucker 

“Time will take everything from us in the end. Everything we have acquired through talent, industry, and luck will be taken from us. Time takes our strength, our desires, our goals, our projects, our future, our happiness and even our hope. Anything we can have, anything we can possess, time will take it from us. But what time can never take from us is who we were in our best moments.”–Mark Rowlands, The Philosopher and the Wolf

 We are born, we live and we die. It has always been this way. Yet we have a confounding relationship with time. It is irrelevant if time is but the empirical measure of a moment in the physical world, quantifiable and concrete, or whether time is merely a subjective construct created to order our experiences. Our varied definitions and understanding of what we call time are distinctions without a difference. They are exercises in semantics.

We experience time linearly; bounded by the past and future to each singular moment. Time is our life; it encompasses all that we have, all that we are and all that we will ever be. The amount of time granted to us is finite, unknowable and uncontrollable. Do not live a life deferred. Only a fool loiters with their time, wasting moments on those things that are not important, unfulfilling and not guided by their virtue.

The past is dead and each moment is nearly so. Live in each moment. Make the best of each moment. When in doubt, determine what will be the most meaningful use of your time. Do not venture aimlessly to your grave. Guard your time ferociously.

De Ira – On Anger

“Anger, if not restrained, is frequently more hurtful to us than the injury that provokes it.” – Lucius Annaeus Seneca

“Take away opinions and resolve to dismiss your judgement about an act as if it were something grievous, and your anger is gone. How to take away these opinions? By reflecting that no wrongful act of another brings shame on you.”  –Marcus Aurelius

“An angry man is again angry with himself when he returns to reason.” –Publilius Syrus

“The person you are mad at for being late could be dead.”–Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Live in Agreement with Nature

realizing one’s true nature/ true self, personal growth, meaning, and the totality of the six components of Ryff’s psychological well-being.

eudaimonia as both flow and meaning.